i’m not dead!

st. patrick’s day was absurd, and i mean that in an excellent sense. i can’t believe a day like that exists and my body has been reminding me all day why it shouldn’t. i’m not hungover, per se, just filled with ill. i guess that makes sense, due to the fact that the human body was not designed to withstand a sixteen hour alcoholic assault. there simply isn’t enough liver to process

8 car bombs, 2 screwdrivers, 6 shots, 12 beers, shirtless.

i copied and pasted that from facebook, not intending for the giant boldness. but it seems to fit, somehow. the 12 beers is a little hazy, since i was half-consuming and then dropping them at the end of the night. i recall running somewhere, dropping a beer, getting a new one, leap-frogging a porch and dropping the new beer. but where or why or what i was doing are not at the forefront of my mind. they’re somewhere back that in that boozey haze that’s still slowly receeding.

we did our first car bomb as a house at midnight, out on the front lawn. it was a hearty nightcap. i proceeded to beat ian twice at magic after that, so i was already on a st. patty’s high. 8am arrived much earlier than i expected, but i still got up, kicked on the irish tunes and started pouring a new car bomb. ian awoke drew and brandon, who happily joined in for the first round of the day. we then made green eggs and brown-sugar turkey and started up a huge game of magic that wouldn’t be finished until today.

class time! i went somewhat drunk, but by no means stumbling. the two screwdrivers helped me strike up a conversation with one of my screenwriting group members. she immediately noted how surprisingly chatty i was. smart girl! the professor showed up, handed back our screenplays and let us go. good man! planning on skipping all my other classes, i dropped by ground floor to see how they were celebrating. joe and matt were the only ones actively skipping/drinking, so i hung out with them for a while. good kids! then it was back home just in time to meet up with the rest of the house for an afternoon of steady drinking!

we took the leather couch outside, an excellent choice since it’s black flavor soaked up with plentiful sun. matt and poe showed up and hung out for a while. some more magic was played, as well as the kicking of the soccer ball. i ended up shoeless, which seemed like a poor choice due to the glass-covered nature of our neighborhood. yet! i came away from the day with only one significant wound that i can’t remember. i did bust up my hand slamming open guinness bottles and may or may not have broken a pinky toe (somehow). but overall, surprisingly wound-free!

we whiled away much of the afternoon meeting and interacting with our neighbors. most of them were surprised to have not met us yet, and even more surprised to discover that we actually party. i guess since we don’t always do it on our front lawn it’s a little hard to tell. they seem like decent folks, and one of them even wanted to live with us next year after interacting for a mere fifteen minutes! naturally, we fed them all car bombs.

evening rolled around and i pulled the grill out front. more people started trickling in, either out of luck or response to my open invitation. i ate a single burger (one of the rare instances were beer didnt equal food during the day) and started buckling down for the real drinking. the rest of the day, i’d been pretty steady, consuming an absurd amount, but at a slow enough pace so as to not overdo it too soon. the evening was another matter. with the firm base already set, things were bound to go downhill. i recall brief flashes mostly. playing beer pong (twice maybe?), serving car bombs, drinking car bombs, bringing my music back inside, playing flip cup, talking to chelsea, going upstairs with chelsea and introducing her to every aspect of my room (why?!), running across the street for something, sitting outside in the dark, bringing the couch back in, realizing that our house was fucking full of people and that we had somehow ended up throwing a legit party, watching spoelstra try to pull the trigger on our front lawn along with at least 100 people across the street, trying to go to bed or something, talking to some cool black dudes, actually going to bed, texting a lot of people before falling asleep.

oh, and did i mention that i had an exam this morning? yeah, a philosophy essay exam at 10:20. fortunately, we were allowed to bring notes. unfortunately, i was still pretty hammered when i woke up. sitting there, taking the test with my green facepaint still smeared across my cheeks, i mostly just wanted to throw up. i finished that exam in probably fifteen minutes – three pages too! it all seemed fairly coherent and accurate to me, although when i went to turn it in, the professor gently suggested i re-read it at least once. when i got home, i decided it would probably be best to eat, so i could stop feeling like i had to barf. i mentioned to zack that i felt like i either wanted to puke or die, which he found hilarious. before i could get down to eating, i chose the former response, hitting the toilet hard. i filled the bowl with pretty much beer. it was all kinds of gross! but boy did i feel great afterwards. not like, run-a-marathon great, but definitely less likely to die.

and that’s pretty much where it ends. we finished our magic game from the day before, took showers and started cleaning. our house was probably the most trashed it has ever been. but! we have somewhere around $30 worth of cans currently. our bar was at least half-covered with guinness bottles, which is saying something. we never got a full count, but i would estimate somewhere nearing 100. all told, it was a pretty damn good day.

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