first week: check. first weekend: check. second week: in progress.
towards the end of last week i became desperately concerned with my social standing. i hadn’t made any “friends” and other people were starting to pair off or form groups. i was under the impression that if i didn’t make at least one friend (and soon!) i was doomed to forever be alone here in madison. it was a pretty heavy idea to haul around all day. i can’t say it helped me make any friends – realistically, it probably caused more self-sabotage than anything else.
primarily, i might have been driven by the concept of a weekend without human interaction. now, i know that my default setting is firmly that of a “loner,” but i’m all for cuttin loose with my bros now and then. and that’s precisely what everyone seemed to be gearing up for. i didn’t want to be left out! something told me that if i wasn’t there for the first weekend of merriment, i would never be accepted at future events. i would be a pariah!
and yet…somehow i got over that. i made plans on friday for saturday and sunday and stuck to them. saturday i hiked around the arboretum, admiring verdant forests, babbling springs, swampy boardwalks and massive cranes (the bird). sunday i walked down state street downtown and spent some time on the union terrace, admiring the waves and sailboats on lake mendota. interspersed with this was a good deal of reading – i finished the name of the wind and found it supremely satisfying.
and now, this week, i’ve arranged my brain in more of a “one step at a time” manner. i know i’m not going to become besties with anyone just like that. but maybe if i sit in the right place in class or bother to eat lunch in the cafeteria i might meet a person or two and have a nice conversation. no grand expectations or plans, i’d rather just work on talking. we’ll see how that goes.