Month: November 2012

Close to Home

Sometimes I take a day off from writing and that day becomes a week. Good thing I caught myself now, since that week could just as easily have become a fortnight. Or maybe a megasecond, which is equal to 1 million seconds or approximately 11.6 days. After that, the lustrum (5 years), followed by an indiction (15 years). The more…

What I Am Thankful For

Back in 1629, or whenever the hell the Pilgrims first crashed into Plymouth Rock, scouted the bleak, forested landscape, and decided it would be a good place to raise a family and/or starve, I feel like the Pilgrims had something real to be thankful for. For them, not being drowned, starved, or burned alive by a crowd of wild-eyed Protestants…

Dining Alone in a Nice Restaurant

Don’t accidentally join the group in front of you when waiting to be seated. Easy mistake to make. Instead, confidently state “Just the one” as if the one is the Emperor of Rome. Don’t take a seat at the bar! That’s the trap seat for the single diner. You may receive attentive service, but you’ll also receive appetizer portions, buy…

Scenes from Savannah

Each of my three nights in Savannah, Georgia I engaged in extensive, all-encompassing walks through the city’s vast historic district. From my home base at the Mansion on Forsyth Park, a high-end hipster boutique hotel just south of the area du historie, I was able to make it to the riverfront and back in a good thirty minutes. Assuming, of…

Pardon the Pause

After a weekend best described as “whirlwind,” wherein I brushed up against so many of my erstwhile chums that I quite nearly overdosed on nostalgia, life seems to have taken a turn for the calm. The relaxed. The decidedly sedentary. It has also grown remarkably difficult to write about. How do I entertain the reader with tales of reading a…

A Weather Conspiracy

Mother Nature’s been acting up lately. First with Hurricane Sandy, then Winter Storm Athena, and now – as if simply to prove that named winter storms are not a fluke – Winter Storm Brutus bears down on the Midwest. All within the span of a few weeks! Al Gore and friends might solemnly blame climate change for the unexpected rage…

Election Day Blues

Thank God it’s election day. Or maybe not “thank God,” since God is now a location on the political spectrum. I’ll stick to the good old bi-partisan thanks: Thank the American flag, the bald eagle, the Statue of Liberty, and a tumbler of Jack Daniels that it’s election day. Because I am sick and fucking tired of this election. I…

It’s Not a Trap!

First off, a thousand thanks to the inimitable Ian Bowden for waking me up with a start one October morning, many years ago. Who else in the world would find my printer shared on the dorm network and promptly put together a comic about the apocalypse via poop? It was also kind of him to let me post the Poopening…