Month: April 2013

It Don’t Blow Ta Go Ta Minnesota

You know you’re having a good day when your argyle socks are pulled high on your bare shins, your purple t-shirt screams BONFIRE in dripping red letters, and your bright green sunglasses are missing lenses – and you don’t give one shit. It’s an especially good day when kids who are just dripping with cool – sticky sweet coolness oozing…

Thoughts Running Through My Mind As I Type In The Wrong Gmail Password For The Thousandth Time

I could probably carry a child to term in the time it’s taken me to remember my gmail password. And that includes rendering an artificial womb from a balloon and a slinky and jamming it up my butt. Not to mention procuring an egg from a desperate prostitute and sperm from, well, someone other than me, I guess. Or maybe…

Architectural Landscape with a Canal – Hubert Robert

For an 18th-century painter, Hubert Robert certainly has a remarkably deft touch with fantastical landscapes. Based on the title of this painting, I don’t think he was going for an “after the apocalypse” look, but he certainly hit that nail on the head. It’s images like these that plant the seeds of stories in my mind. Here we see gondolas…

Slumming Through South Texas

Buildings in Houston all appear to have a unique, fervent desire to become vacant, weed-infested lots. Most are at least halfway to achieving their goal, quietly collapsing into the swamp. Galveston, on the other hand, gives off a different sort of vibe. “Come get drunk by water,” it murmurs to you like a man in a dark alleyway, slowly opening…

The Perils of Wet Air

Sometimes you can just sense it. Sure, the weather might be crappy – rain, low-hanging clouds, temperatures hovering just above freezing. Nothing that would honestly disrupt a normal person’s day, though. And certainly nothing that would hinder a technologically advanced tube, packed full of human-meat, hurtling through the sky at incredible speeds. If it turns out planes can’t handle a…