Month: July 2013

In a Business Meeting

Pectorals bursting at the seams of his trim grey suit coat, Jeff the gorilla slams a hairy fist on the boardroom table. The chatter and hoots of the other businessapes diminish. “A lot of sweat equity went into this,” Jeff announces, pointing at a Powerpoint slide showing a series of differently colored pie charts. “I want to make sure that…

Why We’re Living in the Best Possible Era

Sometimes in conversation, particularly conversations taking places on docks at midnight under a veil of bright, shining stars, the question comes up: Are we living in the best possible era? Most agree that, yes, with our modern worldview, we’d struggle to be happy in decades or centuries past. Lacking modern conveniences that provide instant gratification, we’d invariably succumb to depression.…

Gettin My Blood Sucked

Watching a cloud of mosquitoes descend on your body is one of life’s more unsettling moments. I had been idly batting at the bugs for the majority of my hike, gleefully killing two or three as they came to rest on my exposed forearms, but I was never truly troubled. Caught up in the majesty of nature, I didn’t sense…

At a Wedding

I shift uncomfortably in the pew, the seat too stiff, unyielding. This furniture wasn’t designed for a wedding, it was designed with a puritanical notion of comfort as sin, relaxation as the devil’s playtime. Families heaved themselves onto these cold wooden benches out of duty, not excitement. Perhaps that’s why I’m uncomfortable. I’m too excited. The procession flows leisurely down…

Homewrecking

I pushed a robin’s nest out of my patio rafters this evening. I meant the bird no harm, it’s just that the mud and grass and especially the poop were keeping me from enjoying my patio. As a red-blooded male member of the human race, it felt like my God-given right and duty to destroy what this tiny, feathered animal…