Month: January 2014

2024 Grammy Award Winners

It’s been a grand year for music. I’ve heard several sounds – definitely at least four. One was like a BOOM noise and there was also this clap, I guess? Maybe you guys heard those sounds too? They were pretty okay. If you’re curious, you can listen to a bunch of them right here on this very site. Even without…

London Grammar – Strong

This voice! It’s absolutely haunting. And it’s coming from the face-hole of a lithe young blonde girl, which I still struggle to picture, despite watching plenty of London Grammar music videos. These past few years have really held an amazing renaissance of powerful female vocals over spare, electronic tracks. It’s a glaring “fuck you” to the previous few years of…

Island Hangovers

It’s New Years Day and I’m on a cruise ship and I am hungover, man, oh my GOD. Cruise fucking director Jimmy, that vile squid, starts making announcements at seven damn thirty in the AM like it’s some kind of emergency, like we all have to get up because the ship is beached on some fat fucking whale, but no,…

Dancing in Davy Jone’s Locker

It’s New Years Eve and I’m on a cruise ship and I’m sitting in my cabin watching 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea on mute. My two friends are with me. We’re all nursing tall gin and tonics and waiting for the pirate party to start on the top deck. Cruise director Jimmy claimed there would be fireworks at the party…

Going to Your Officemate’s Holiday Party

Outside the office window, dump trucks noisily scrawl dirt across the landscape as they’ve done every day for the past week. It’s a tedious sound, like rough sewage continuously flushing through pipes. You’ve grown accustomed to it, but every so often it sticks out. “You have to come to our holiday party,” your officemate says suddenly, breaking the construction noise…