Chamonix – The Spa

There’s getting wet. And then there’s getting wet in the spa at l’Heliopic.

Allow the stunning spa attendant to provide you with a freshly fluffed towel and pair of cozy plush slippers. Make use of the extensive locker room to divulge yourself of worldly possessions. In this Poseidon’s garden, you won’t be needing technology. Just a swimsuit, a body, and a willingness to soak.

You’ll first notice the long, granite-lined pool and bubbling hot tub. Perhaps this seems like the typical hotel pool experience? Except for the fifteen-foot wall that is a gently pulsing waterfall. And the fireplace lounge further back, complete with egg chairs hanging from the ceiling.

In an alcove to the left, though, is where the fun really begins.

First, the plunge pool. A six by six by six cube dug into the floor, filled with ice water. At the bottom: jets blasting water straight up to slow your plunge and tingle your junk. It’s pure icy joy.

Next, the steam room. Dim and damp, but also steamy and sensual. The benches aren’t designed for multiple occupants. Instead, they are awkward wave forms, built only for reclining upon in this jungle sex den. Colored lights vaguely illuminate the reflective tiles lining the room. It smells like hot sin.

Finally, the sauna. A place to both cool down and warm up, sweating out the pent up sexual urges from the neighboring steam cave.

Did you enjoy the alcove? Take a quick shower and head to the egg chairs, where relaxation, hot tea and magazines await. Or perhaps to the main pool where a couple laps can wake you up. Or perhaps to the…ice room?

Yes. There is a one more room, not obvious, the unobtrusive door just to the left of the alcove. Inside, the walls, floor, and ceiling are lined with white tiles. On a gleaming pedestal rests a tub of ice cubes. The air in this room is perhaps 0 degrees celsius. Grab a handful of ice and chuck it at your companion. It’s the only thing you can do in this room besides freeze.

The spa at l’Heliopic. Are you wet yet?

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