Tag: TMI

Dream Journal Excerpts II

More excerpts from my endless dream journal. I’ve decided that when I start a punk/pop/emo band, it’s going to be named “A Dream to Stay Awake.” Pretty sure that name isn’t taken. Maybe I should copyright it quick just to be safe. Each paragraph is a single dream, or a single night’s worth of interconnected dreams. Dreamt I was masturbating…

Dream Journal Excerpts I

I read somewhere that keeping a dream journal means that you’ll be more likely to remember and, eventually, control your dreams. Lucid dreaming, in other words. While I haven’t experienced that yet, I have managed to write down hundreds of dreams, some unsettlingly simple, others boringly long. Most of the time, I write down the dreams as soon as I…

What it feels like

Part One: Meetings It’s not quite the same as a first kiss under the full moon when a girl responds to your message on a dating application, but it’s nice. It’s welcome. It’s reassuring. Yes, there are people out there who both like your face and want to hear your words. Or read them, as it were. On the ladder…

Going to Your Officemate’s Holiday Party

Outside the office window, dump trucks noisily scrawl dirt across the landscape as they’ve done every day for the past week. It’s a tedious sound, like rough sewage continuously flushing through pipes. You’ve grown accustomed to it, but every so often it sticks out. “You have to come to our holiday party,” your officemate says suddenly, breaking the construction noise…

Post-Run Rundown

7:30 – Notice the sun is setting, decide a run would be a perfect way to cap the day. 7:50 – Realize I just farted around on the internet for twenty minutes. The sun is now set. Sigh. 7:55 – Decide to run anyway. Gotta get swole, ladies. 7:56 – Shorts on. 7:57 – Socks on. 7:58 – Shoes on.…

This Post is About Putting Milk in My Tea

I discovered something today. I’ve heard for years that the Brits enjoy adding copious amounts of milk and sugar to their tea. It’s a notion I’ve generally dismissed as a concept along the lines of “only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noonday sun.” Sugar in tea I can understand, as it dissolves nicely and alleviates the bitterness.…

Opportunity Knocking

As a kid, I loved to participate in our school’s geography bee. Finally, a chance to roll out the extensive geographical knowledge I’d acquired from school-day afternoons spent pouring over the kid’s atlas and ignoring long division assignments. I could name all fifty states and their capitals, not to mention all the continents, oceans, major rivers, and at least half…

Exes and Ohs

I had a dream the other night. I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say it featured a distant ex-girlfriend and things got hot and heavy. Torrid, really. With a definite degree of rapacious grappling in musk-filled dream corridors. I woke up in a very confused sweat, blankets binding my torso like a noose. For several moments, I clutched…